Of course, catching feelings for a one night stand isn’t necessarily doomed from the beginning. “It’s possible that that person is not responding to what’s available at this moment, and trying to fulfill deeper needs… Those needs can vary, but they’re usually related to wanting to feel wanted, important, loved, or something similar,” the psychotherapist said. Gea Gea explained that when people catch serious feelings for a casual hookup, they may be ignoring the reality of the situation, perhaps to get more out of it. Sarah admitted that even though she doesn’t usually get to know her one night stands very well, she still briefly imagines “how a future with them would look like.” Sensations are heightened and feelings can be very intense at this stage,” Gea Gea said. “Sometimes, the appeal of the one night stand-with no ongoing commitments or responsibilities-can be otherworldly, and it’s easy to surrender to that. Indeed, the intense emotions that come with having a one night stand can make people feel like they want something more long-lasting.ĭuring sex, the body releases oxytocin, commonly called the “love hormone,” so it’s natural to feel a deep connection during and after the act, even if it only happens once, explained Bernadette Gea Gea, a Sydney-based psychotherapist who is focused on helping people learn how to prioritize themselves without losing the relationships that matter most. “When I have a one night stand, my train of thought would usually be, ‘Why not? It could end up turning into something good,’” she said. Still, catching feelings is always on, or under, the table. Sarah said she mostly has one night stands to fulfill momentary physical needs or to make a night out more interesting, so she could have a story to tell her close friends. He didn’t want a relationship, and the future I imagined with him didn’t look that good either, but we both can’t imagine a life without each other.” “We got really close and comfortable with each other so I guess that’s how I ended up being attached. Sarah preferred to go by a pseudonym because of the stigma that still comes with discussing one’s sex life in the Philippines. Next thing I know, we are running mundane errands together,” 28-year-old entrepreneur Sarah, from Manila, Philippines, told VICE. It started with one night, and we kept seeing each other more often. “I had a one night stand that ended up lasting way longer than expected, and it kind of developed into a very complicated friendship.
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